Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
