It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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