Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
ttyl tear gas
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
