who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
