that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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