The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
porn star boner night. come get it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
