I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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