Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
