called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
