Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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