Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
