so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
