ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just had sex bonerless
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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