I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
