the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Randomize
