i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
