i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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