No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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