butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
