If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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