Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
