i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
