I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize