i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish I only lived at night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
