hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
