Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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