you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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