Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
