I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
