Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
