I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize