And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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