3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
