If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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