Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Randomize
