handjob tips. give me some.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
