bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
