We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
