that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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