alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You need Xanax blowdarts
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He shit in the fireplace
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
