1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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