yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Another day, another engagement, another cat
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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