Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Come on in and take your pants off
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