I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
