Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
