Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
