Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
