i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
