so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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