that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
