gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He better not be in your backpack
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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