Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
