i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize