That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
