we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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