a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
