I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
