We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
