Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
