i just wanna soil my oats bro
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he fucked my hip out of place.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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