How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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