You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
